


One For Each Night

by murdershegoat



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Eventual Romance, F/F, Friendship/Love, Hanukkah, Holidays, Jewish Holidays, Self-Acceptance, Soul-Searching, feeling salty that the hanukkah tag isnt spelt like Chanukah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:46:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21998485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murdershegoat/pseuds/murdershegoat
Summary: Two lonely flames flicker against the night sky.///Kara spends the first four nights of Chanukah alone.But she also spends it searching for peace.///Chanukah Fic 2019
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 23
Kudos: 259





	1. They Broke Down the Walls of my Towers

**Author's Note:**

> A collation of the first four nights of my Chanukah fic i've been posting on tumblr.
> 
> anyway enjoy! and happy holidays!

**NIGHT ONE**

Two lonely flames flicker against the night sky. 

Kara’s menorah sits where it usually does, on the ledge against her largest window, shining for all of National City to see. That was the point of the menorah, Eliza had taught her, to publicise the miracle that happened all those years ago. 

Usually, there would be a throng of people in her apartment; just the year before, she had hosted a party on the first night of Chanukah, with about a dozen people from her various networks coming together and lighting the first night’s worth of candles and eating jelly filled doughnuts and singing songs that most of them couldn’t remember the words to.

But this year is different. Alex is working and Winn lives in a different century and James is back in his hometown. And Lena… And Lena.

This year is different. Kara feels different. She’s stared down the end of the world and somehow she still won. She lost everybody she’s ever loved and somehow got them back again. She should be happy. She should be celebrating something truly miraculous.

But instead, tears leave watery tracks on Kara’s cheeks and she can’t bring herself to sing Maoz Tzur as two lonely flames flicker against the night sky.

  
  


**NIGHT TWO**

A box of doughnuts sits in the CatCo break room with a handwritten note on its lid.

_ Happy Chanukah! _ it reads in Kara’s handwriting. A simple message, but effective nonetheless. She’s not sure why she feels so nervous about it; choosing and bringing snacks for the entire office is something she’s always excelled at.

She doesn’t really talk about her religion with people. Like most things in her life, it’s pretty complicated. Religion on Krypton was just an inherent part of existence, something so intertwined with culture and society, you didn’t even think twice about it. But when she had joined the Danvers family, and been introduced to Judaism, she quickly learned that things were not like that for them.

Their house was vandalized on a regular basis. Alex put up with taunts at school. Gravestones were toppled in the nearby Jewish cemetery. After her formal conversion, Kara learned to hide her magen david necklace inside her shirt when walking through certain neighbourhoods. She learned not to talk about what she had learned at Synagogue when she went to school on Mondays. She learned not to mention it at all. 

She’s not ashamed, not at all. But she is scared. And being probably the strongest person on earth doesn’t stop the fear that spreads through her when faced with antisemitic hatred.

She’s nervous as she watches her coworkers inspect the box, as she imagines the taunts that could be said, the snide ‘Happy Holidays’ that are sure to come. But as they take doughnuts and thank her and ask her about Chanukah, a sense of relief washes over her. Fear is replaced by excitement, and her nerves all but disappear.

As the staff gets back to work after their lunch break, an empty box of doughnuts sits in the recycling bin in the Catco break room.

  
  


**NIGHT THREE**

Four candles sit in the menorah, unlit, their wicks still pristine and white. Nearby, a box of matches lies abandoned.

Across town, a building is on fire. The flames are bright and uncontrollable, and people start to gather on the street around it, staring up at the spectacle in fear and awe.

“Up there!” yells a young woman. “It’s Supergirl!”

Sure enough, Supergirl swoops in from out of nowhere, and blows her icy breath against the flames. They die down in less than a minute, and the crowd cheers for her achievement. She lands amongst the people and double checks with the fire department that nobody’s been hurt, and then she starts shaking hands and posing for pictures and being the beacon of hope she never really feels like she is. Her heart beats wildly against her ribcage and she repeats the same thing to herself over and over again: you saved them. Nobody got hurt. Everybody is okay.

Before she knows it, a news crew shows up, and they point the cameras straight in her face. She’s used to the celebrity that comes with her costume, but god she still hates the cameras.

“Supergirl,” the reporter asks. “Any plans for Christmas tomorrow?”

She hesitates, ready to give a stock answer of being grateful for things and maybe opening a present or two from Superman. But then she throws all caution to the wind.

She looks directly into the camera.

“I’m actually Jewish.”

Tomorrow there will be headlines, she’s sure of it. But there will also be young Jewish women sending each other clips of the news report and tweets inviting her for Shabbos lunch and somewhere in that mess, part of her hopes that maybe Lena will see it and maybe she will smile and maybe everything will be alright.

  
  


**NIGHT FOUR**

Alex lights the candles because she’s the oldest and that’s just the rules of life.

Alex lights the candles even though she’s a half hour late and filled with Christmas cheer that Kara doesn’t want any part in. Usually this time of year was her favourite, the lights and the happiness and fun coffee flavours. But this year, it feels like there isn’t enough to celebrate, or rather, celebrating seems selfish and unnecessary in light of how the world is just going to shit around them.

“You’re in a mood,” Alex says as they stare at the menorah. “You could’ve come to Kelly’s Christmas party and taken your mind off things.”

“And what, just have everybody there ask me why I’m in a bad mood? Pretend like everything’s okay?”

“Why  _ are  _ you in a bad mood?”

“Because.”

“Talk to me, Kara.”

Kara sighs. “I’m sad, like, all the time. I don’t know how many more times I can save the world or the whole universe, I don’t know if I have any more big saves in me.”

“That’s ridiculous. You’re—“

“I don’t know how to care anymore, Alex! I don’t know how to care what happens when all I can think about is that Lena still won’t talk to me and I am so damn tired of living in a world that doesn’t wanna be fucking saved.” 

“The world is big,” Alex says, somewhat unhelpfully. 

“... Cool.” 

“And if you can’t fix all of it, start with the things you can.” 

Kara doesn’t respond. 

“... I’m talking about Lena.”

“Yeah, I got it.”

“I’m not gonna pretend I know exactly what you two are to each other but… but you should make things better. Keep trying. You have to.”

“But how do I do it?”

Alex shrugs. “Use some of your holiday cheer.”

///

Lena awakes on the morning after Christmas to find a present under her tree. It’s wrapped in red and blue paper and it has no name but she knows who it’s from. 

She can always sense when Kara has been near. 

Across town, Kara cleans her Menorah with a smile on her face


	2. If It Be Your Will

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last half of Chanukah Fic 2019

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! happy holidays!

**NIGHT FIVE**

Lena Luthor stands beside Kara’s menorah. The candles are starting to dim as they melt down into nothingness and Kara just wants to go to bed after a long night of saving National City. But now Lena is here and Kara is decidedly awake.

“This is a nice change of pace,” Kara says. “Usually it’s me surprising you on your balcony.”

“There was one present under my tree this year,” Lena says, ignoring the small talk altogether. “Well, two if you count the poison my mother bought me. But you. You got me a present.”

“This weird thing happened,” Kara replies. “You see, you died. Alex died. Everything was gone. And then some convoluted plot happened and you were alive again. And I have Alex back in my life, and Clark and Lois and Jon. But I don’t have you.”

“I’m not something you collect, Kara. You can’t  _ have  _ me.”

“I miss you, Lena,” Kara says, suddenly breathless. “I miss you more than I think I could ever describe. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the way it felt to know you were… to know you were dead. And every day it’s like a weight, it’s like a weight is just sitting on my chest because I’m scared that something will happen and I’ll have to feel that thing again. And I’ll have to go through it having never sorted things out between us.”

For a moment, it looks as though Lena’s going to fight back. She opens her mouth angrily, and closes it again. And then all she says is,

“I miss you, too.”

There’s a ‘but’ in there somewhere, because of course there is; Kara can see it in her eyes. She knows things won’t be the same because she knows everything is different now. They’re both new people. And maybe they just don’t have room for the other in their lives anymore.

Kara steps forward, and kisses Lena on the cheek, her lips barely grazing Lena’s skin.

“Merry Christmas,” she says.

Lena smiles. “Happy Chanukah.”

And then Lena leaves. 

And Kara is alone.

  
  


**NIGHT SIX**

Like most things in life, it’s just a coincidence. 

Just a coincidence that she bumps into Lena and just a coincidence that Lena’s meeting got cancelled so she can get coffee with Kara, which makes Kara giddy with excitement.

And just a coincidence that a car spins out of control on the slick, rain-wet roads and comes hurtling out of nowhere and straight for them and the other pedestrians.

There’s no time to whip off her glasses and become Supergirl. To be quite honest, Kara doesn’t even think about being Supergirl. Because in that moment, Kara can only think of one thing.

Lena. 

Kara moves at a breakneck speed, stopping the car with both of her hands, using her body to shield Lena’s, whisking Lena off somewhere safer. It’s textbook saving the day kind of stuff, and it doesn’t really faze her. 

“Are you okay?” she asks a breathless Lena, checking her over for any possible signs of injury. “Are you hurt? Lena? Say something.”

“Kara,” is all she says. But she’s not looking at Kara; she stares straight past her at the crowd of people who are staring at them both, iPhones out and recording.

No, they’re not staring at them both. They’re staring at Kara.

Kara who just stopped a car with her bare hands.

Kara who is not wearing a Supergirl outfit.

She can’t even bring herself to care. Images of Argo disappearing off the satellite, of Earth 38 and Earth 1 disintegrating fill her mind. Sure, in a few hours, once the videos of her go viral and her identity is revealed, maybe then she’ll care, but for now she just tries to control her breathing as she sees the car wreckage smoke in front of her. Feelings of loss engulf her once more and the full impact of Lena almost getting killed once again hits her.

“I need to go,” she whispers softly, so only Lena can hear her. And then very calmly - much too calmly - she walks away from the scene of the accident and leaves Lena behind.

And Lena watches her go.

  
  


**NIGHT SEVEN** **  
  
**

“I thought I’d find you here,” Lena says. They stand on the roof of Kara’s apartment building, Lena hovering in the doorway and Kara overlooking the city. 

“Been up here all night,” Kara replies. “I’m too scared to go into the apartment. It doesn’t feel like mine anymore.”

“Are you getting hounded by the press? Because I know a great security guy—“

Kara shakes her head. “I just don’t really feel like Kara Danvers anymore. She was an identity made to keep me safe. And now that the world… now that everybody knows the truth, she’s pretty much obsolete. Maybe it’s time for Kara Danvers to disappear.”

Lena thinks she’s wrong. Because standing there in the moonlight, there’s no billowing cape or impressive red suit. All she can feel is love for the silhouette in front of her. And all she can see is Kara Danvers. 

And she is beautiful. 

“Supergirl isn’t the one who befriended me. She wasn’t the one who comforted me and held me when I cried. She wasn’t at games night, nor brunch, nor anything in between. She’s pretty great, don’t get me wrong. But she’s no Kara Danvers. You’ve always been my hero, Kara. You, not Supergirl. And… and I still need you. So you don’t get to just leave. Because I need you. I want you here with me.”

“You don’t hate me?” Kara asks, her voice breaking. Lena feels the overwhelming need to comfort her, to ease the sadness in her. 

“If I had the luxury of not being Lena Luthor, of leaving my last name and my baggage at the door… Well, I did get that.  _ You  _ gave me that. And I’m sorry you had to give that up for me.”

“Don’t apologise. I don’t regret it. I’ll never regret making sure you’re okay.” Kara surges forward, wrapping her arms around Lena and hugging her tightly. “I thought I had lost you again.”

“Never. You’re never going to lose me,” Lena replies, her voice thick with tears. 

She’s not sure how long they stand there like that, but with every passing moment, the last morsels of anger Lena had been holding onto slip away, and her love grows stronger in her heart.

**NIGHT EIGHT**

A year later, and the transition to being a public figure is easier than Kara thought it would be.

The citizens of National City treat her with respect and courtesy. Her work friends don’t seem very surprised (“honestly you leapt off the balcony one too many times for you not to be Supergirl.”) Eliza gets round the clock security protection and a security system upgrade. Alex gets a new, bigger gun. Clark and Lois move back to Kansas, something they had already been planning. Everybody Kara loves is safe.

Honestly, the biggest change? Every single one of her tweets now gets thousands of likes, no matter how mundane it is. Her favourite Chinese place no longer charges her for eating there, insisting that she brings in thousands of dollars worth of orders every time she posts about their potstickers

She still wears her suit when she’s on official Supergirl duty, but most of the time, she can still get away unnoticed in her glasses and a baseball cap.

“So how’s the limelight treating you today?” Lena asks. They sit on her pristine white couch, eating Big Belly Burger; some things never change.

(Well, they change for a bit. And then everybody dies. And then they go back to being normal.)

“It’s alright,” Kara says through a mouthful of french fries. She swallows haphazardly. “My barista tried to slip me her number today.”

“Are you gonna ask her out?” Lena asks, leaning in closer, as though she’s desperate for gossip.

Kara laughs. “No way.”

“No?”

“She’s not my type.”

“So you have a type?”

“Yep.” Kara leans over, planting a greasy kiss on Lena’s burger flavoured lips. “I only date hot female billionaires.”

Lena gasps playfully. “You’re dating Veronica Sinclair??”

Kara laughs loudly. She kisses her again.

“Hard to date her when I’m already engaged to the smartest, kindest, most beautiful hot billionaire I could find.”

“Damn right,” Lena grins, kissing Kara again. She groans, though, when she hears Kara’s comms beep, knowing that she’s about to race off and into Supergirl mode.

Kara’s up and ready to go in seconds.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be home in time to light the menorah,” she says to Lena. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Lena responds, and she watches as Kara flies away.

That evening, two flames flicker against the night sky.

And Kara and Lena stand in their home, stand in love, in complete content, and watch as they burn.

**Author's Note:**

> the second part will be posted some time on sunday or monday, after night 8 has been posted on tumblr
> 
> tumblr - murdershegoat  
> twitter - lhknox2


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